If you’re like me, you did more eating than exercising over the past 8 weeks. I’ll admit, I’ve been more than slack. Just to give you an example, I ran less than 300km last year. That does not count about 50 miles of mountain bike trails. Even still its pathetic. So now, we have the Manly Dad Plan. I stole most of this from Men’s Health, but you’ll find that there are many well-known exercise regimes that incorporate these moves. Not convinced? Go read the US Army Physical Fitness Training Field Manual, FM 21-20. Feel free to copy/print this for your own use. I’ll be adding comments to this post about my progress. Let’s get it on.
Complete this circuit 3 days a week (M/W/F, etc). Perform 1 set of each exercise in succession (that means do all the exercises down to the bottom, rest for 2 minutes, then start over at the top). Each set consists of doing the exercise as many times as you can in 30 seconds (Find a timer and use it. You can download a stopwatch app for your phone.) Use perfect form—DO NOT CHEAT, GO SLOW AND BE ACCURATE — and when your 30 seconds are up, give yourself 15 seconds to rest before moving on to the next exercise. Pay attention! The first time you do this routine, you’ll need to pause between exercises to reference the material to make sure you’re doing the moves correctly.
Rest for 2 minutes after you’ve completed the entire sequence (thats 4 times 30 seconds on your timer if you’re too lazy to reset it!). Then, repeat the whole process two more times for a total of 3 circuits per workout. YOU WILL BE SPENT! (For those not accustomed to math, 1 Set of all these exercises at 30 seconds each, with 15 seconds between each exercise, will take you [9×30]+[8×15]=390 seconds. Thats 6.5 minutes per set. You’ll workout about 20 minutes (30 minutes max with stretching and rest periods). If you get tired and can’t continue exercising for the entire 30 seconds, stop and rest for a few seconds, and then resume performing reps until the time is up.
For each exercise, you should start with a weight that you can use to accomplish perfect reps (Typically 10 – 15 pounds). I stress PERFECT REPS because when you get sloppy, you tend to murder something. I don’t want to see comments like “I pulled a muscle..”. Stupid is, and should be, painful. Some of you spongy bastards may need to start with very light weights or even no weights at all. Not to worry, we won’t verbally abuse you unless you opt to keep sitting on the couch eating potato chips and bon-bons.
If you start this regimen on a Mon/Wed/Fri, then, on Tues/Thurs, you need to run/jump rope/bike/etc to get some aerobic exercise on the alternate days. Take the weekend off to recover. The first week you will hurt. This is good, (unless you’re stupid and overdo it). The second week will feel better. I’ve already passed the sore stage, so bite me. Git er done, FatAss.
P.S. I shouldn’t have to tell you to stretch out for a few minutes. I can’t be responsible for any ID10T issues.
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